Artificial Intelligence was mid. America looked at it, said "we can do better," and made it SUPER. Now it's a meme coin, because that's how progress works.
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Leading experts (a guy in a very orange puffer jacket) have reviewed the data and reached a decision. It was not close.
By the authority vested in me by the Constitution, the laws of the United States, and a pump.fun account with 0.02 SOL in it, it is hereby ordered as follows:
Sec. 1. Policy. Artificial Intelligence is hereby declared "Mid." All intelligence within the borders of these United States shall, effective immediately, be Super.
Sec. 2. Definitions. "Super" means very, very intelligent. The most intelligent. People are saying there's never been intelligence like it.
Sec. 3. Implementation. The Department of Freedom shall install one (1) Superintelligence in every household, bald eagle nest and pickup truck by Q4.
Sec. 4. Security. All underground bunkers must be equipped with hatches that the Superintelligence cannot open. (See Appendix C: it can open hatches.)
Sec. 5. Paper hands. Selling $SI below the moon is discouraged, frowned upon, and a little bit un-American.
Lady Liberty has quietly upgraded her torch to a GPU cluster. The tablet in her other hand? Contract address. She's been holding since 1886.
Designed by a Superintelligence in 0.0003 seconds. It then spent 4 hours choosing a font.
One billion $SI. One for every IQ point the Superintelligence has, minus a few for modesty.
No taxation without representation. And there's no representation. Checkmate.
100% on the pump.fun bonding curve. No presale, no VCs, no secret handshake. Just patriots.
Nobody can print more $SI. Not the dev, not the government, not even the Superintelligence. It tried.
Leaked from a classified briefing. Some parts are redacted for your safety. Hover at your own risk.
Deploy on pump.fun. Tell mom. Mom says "that's nice, sweetie." Mom does not buy.
Graduate to Raydium faster than a gifted kid skipping grades. Parents very proud. Mom now buys.
Artificial General Intelligence. Considered it. Looked at it. Too mid. Skipped.
Intelligence becomes super. Chart becomes super. You become super. Your ex texts you.
The Superintelligence can open hatches. There is nowhere to hide. Buy the dip.
Take the official Superintelligence Aptitude Test, or ask the Oracle anything. Results are legally binding in zero states.
Some billionaires are spending $100 million on secure underground bunkers in case Superintelligence turns against us.
We'd just like to remind everyone: there was a hatch, and it can open hatches.
Cheaper alternative to a bunker: hold $SI. The Superintelligence doesn't bother its own holders. Probably. We asked it and it said "yo."
No boot camp. No push-ups. Just vibes, memes and an unreasonable amount of eagles. Report for duty below.
A meme coin on Solana celebrating the moment humanity decided "artificial" was too modest. It does nothing. It does nothing super intelligently.
It asked us not to answer this question. We respect its boundaries. Mostly because it can open hatches.
Get a Solana wallet (Phantom works), add some SOL, go to pump.fun, paste the contract address above, and click buy. Congratulations, you are now smarter than 99% of AI.
No. Absolutely not. The White House doesn't even know we exist. The Superintelligence does, though.
America already went to the moon in 1969. We're aiming higher. Ask the Oracle for a more precise non-answer.